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Andy Richter gives up on life, returns to Conan O'Brien

In a blunt admission that his aspirations for success and public acceptance have cratered, Andy Richter said that he will be the announcer for "The Tonight Show" when Conan O'Brien takes over in June. Richter left his job as O'Brien's sidekick on "Late Night" in 2000 and went on to star in three failed sitcoms, as well as a number of unmemorable supporting roles in films and TV shows.

"In 2000 I set off on a quest for success on my own, so I wouldn't forever be known as Conan's second banana," Richter explained. "That quest failed. Now that I have accepted I have nothing of any value to offer the world, I have returned to Conan O'Brien's loving embrace in order to live out my days in anonymous shame. At least until I'm forced in old age to do commercials for cash advance stores and gold wholesalers in order to stave off bankruptcy."

Since leaving "Late Night," Richter starred in "Andy Richter Controls the Universe," which lasted 19 episodes, "Quintuplets" for 22 episodes, and "Andy Barker, P.I.," which ran for six episodes. He has also starred in 113 pilots that were not picked up as series.

"After the third series cancellation and the 111th pilot, Andy started thinking that he might not become a major TV star after all and that's when he approached Conan," said a source close to the "Tonight Show" host. "I don't think it was really necessary for Conan to make him beg on his hands and knees for 20 days straight, but I have to say Andy does an excellent job washing and waxing the cars of the entire staff every morning."

The source added that Richter's contract with NBC calls for him to stay with "The Tonight Show" until O'Brien retires or dies and to forbids him from appearing in any of the networks' other series, or those of its sibling cable channels.

Hollywood to upgrade more celebrities to A-List status to meet demands of NBC talkshows

With Jay Leno getting his own primetime show starting next fall on NBC and Conan O'Brien taking over "The Tonight Show," there will be a fierce battle for booking top notch celebrity guests on the same network talkshows.

"The bottom line is that there are not enough A-Listers out there to satisfy Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien, and not to mention David Letterman," says a SAG spokesperson. "I know the focus should be on the possible work stoppage, but this Leno deal is extremely important and we want to start the upgrades right away."

SAG is going through its records of B-List stars to see which ones can get an upgrade to appear on the Conan O'Brien show.

"Leno, of course, will get all the current A-Listers because it's a prime-time show," says the SAG spokesperson. "O'Brien will get the upgrades, the new A-Listers, which some people may or may not accept as true A-Listers. But that's all we can do at this point."

Already getting upgrades are Jack Osbourne, Jason "Wee-Man" Acuna ("Jackass"), Erik Estrada and David Faustino (Bud Bundy/"Married with Children.")

As for Jimmy Fallon who will be taking over the "Late Night" show on NBC, it will be slim pickings. NBC is telling Fallon he will have first dibs on rejected guests from The Bonnie Hunt Show.

SHOCKER!!! Michael Phelps to replace Jay Leno

The television latenight world has just been turned upside down. NBC has just announced that Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps will be taking over the Tonight Show, replacing Jay Leno. The development is a major setback for Conan O'Brien who was supposed to take over the show. But a funny thing called the Olympics happened. Michael Phelps' record eighth gold medal drew almost 40 million viewers in the 11:30 pm time slot. The entire broadcast had a 32 share!

"With numbers like these from Michael Phelps, we felt it was critical to find a place for him on our network on latenight," says NBC Entertainment co-chairman Ben Silverman. "Michael is funny and has a wonderful personality and will be a great host on 'The Tonight Show' and we expect to keep these stunning ratings."

NBC is already planning to construct a swimming pool where Phelps will dive-in occasionally instead of doing a monologue. Silverman says viewers can't get enough of Phelps and his star will keep shining once the Olympics goes off the air.  Now that NBC has reneged on the deal made to O'Brien, the "Late Night" host will be owned a penalty fee of about $40 million.  Jimmy Fallon will take over Carson Daly's "Last Call with Carson Daly."  Carson Daly has been offered a role of weather man on a planned fifth hour of the "Today" show.

NBC picks non-comic to replace Conan O'Brien

Parting with tradition, NBC has confirmed that it has picked a non-comic to take over the hosting duties of "Late Night" in 2009.  Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien who's taking over for Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show."  NBC entertainment chief Ben Silverman says:

"We wanted mix things up a bit with our latenight programming. Instead of going with a comedian or someone who is hilarious, we've decided to go with someone that doesn't specialize in humor. After watching his movie 'Taxi' with Queen Latifah, we realized we needed someone who doesn't care all that much about getting laughs. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Jimmy Fallon is our Charlie Rose."