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Britney Looks Up “Womanizer,” Regrets Song

“I didn’t know what a womanizer was,” says the oft-beleaguered pop singer. “I thought a womanizer was someone who turned people into women, like Dr. 90210, or Rosie O’Donnell’s make-up artist.”

The 26 year-old diva says she regrets helping to perpetuate such a negative stereotype for guys “just out for a good time.” Says Britney, “I mean, I wouldn’t want people calling me a Manonizer just because I’ve indiscriminately slept with tons of guys, in rapid succession, in a relatively short amount of time.”

The paparazzi-plagued teen idol says she doesn’t want people forming a bad opinion of her, thinking she’s all about monogamy or people not cheating on their spouses. “If men didn’t cheat, I never would have gotten to be with K-Fed, and I never would have had Preston, and that other kid, what’s-his-face,” she says.

She plans to release a new song to counteract the effects of her recent hit, with a focus on the positive aspects of sleeping with lots of women and then tossing them away. “I’m thinking of calling it “Oops, I Did Her Again,” Britney said.

--Martha Tagney

Britney Spears to take her children on tour...for a price

Britney Spears will now be allowed to take her kids with her on her upcoming concert tour, for a price.  According to a leaked document signed by Spears and K-Fed, Spears will have to pay $5,000/week to K-Fed and hand deliver the payment in crisp one dollar bills to the bowling alley or strip club of K-Fed's choice.  Although Britney is allowed to bring her kids on tour with her, she has to adhere to a strict visitation schedule that has been ironed out by the courts since last year. 

According to court documents, Britney gets custody of her three children three days and nights a week, every other month except for March and April.  In March, Britney has visitation rights every other day and nights on the days that K-Fed has custody.  In April, custody rights are determined by a coin flip. Our sources say that both Spears and K-Fed are happy with the arrangement "because it gives their children a normal life".

-Benjamin Carrico

Britney hoping to remarry Jason Alexander

If only Brit had stayed married to Jason Alexander, the last few years would have gone a lot better.

That's what everybody's favorite troubled pop star tells MTV in an documentary called "Britney: On the Record" scheduled to air next week. Dateline Hollywood got an exclusive early peek.

"Going on vacation to Las Vegas with an old childhood friend and then deciding to get married spur of the moment was the smartest decision I ever made,"she told MTV. "Having that marriage annulled was so stupid, so immature. Ever since then, my life has been like a prison."

Spears married Jason Alexander, an old friend from Louisiana, in Las Vegas in 2004. The marriage was annulled two days later. Later that year she married Kevin Federline, the father of her two children, whom she divorced in 2006.

"All the awfulness of the past four years has been God's way of saying I should have stayed with Jason," Spears explains in the documentary, trying to hold back tears. "I think the real lesson is that I need to trust my gut. My judgment is great, but sometimes I second guess myself too much. If I just stick to the first thought I have in any situation going forward, I'm sure my life will finally be stable and happy."

Alexander couldn't be reached for comment. Sources said that since hearing about Spears' renewed interest three hours ago, he has already started work on a solo rap album.

Britney Spears prepares for mental breakdown next month

With Britney Spears on the cusp of a full blown comeback with a No. 1 single on the charts, a hot new video, a revamped body and a highly anticipated album due just in time for the Holidays, the singer has announced to close friends that she will have a complete mental breakdown in November.

"I don't think she's happy with the media coverage even though things are going great. The number of paparazzi has dramatically decreased since she pulled herself together," said an insider. "She's no longer the top story on entertainment news shows and even traditional news media. Even the tabloids have barely covered her over the last few months. She needs to do something to change all that."

Insiders say Spears has already made an appointment at Esther's Hair Salon in Tarzana, California to have her hair extensions taken out by shaving her hair completely off. Spears has also purchased a brand new umbrella to attack the paparazzi. The singer also had a Brazilian wax as she plans to expose her vagina again starting next month. She also placed a call to LAPD to reserve one of the county's nicest ambulances to take her to the hospital when she calls 911 next month after breaking down completely.

Sarah Silverman exposed, Britney's retarded jurors, and more Hollywood Headlines

From Dateline Hollywood's world headquarters in Los Angeles, here is a roundup of today's most important news stories:

• Judge regrets using retarded people as jurors in celebrity trial

• Rapper writes book: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times bee-yatch"

• Sarah Silverman goes to London and gets exposed; and, no, she doesn't show her hoohah

• Your marriage has just fallen apart...who you gonna call? If you said Gwyneth Paltrow...you'd be right/wrong?
  

• Hasselbeck: Don't Compare Me to Coulter: I don't have a penis

• SNL's Fred Armisen loses out chance to play another black person

• Madonna tries to find receipt to return adopted baby

Britney Spears Guilty! Sentenced to 15-20 Years in Prison

The jury in Britney Spears' trial for driving without a license brought back a shocking verdict today, finding the troubled pop star guilty and sentencing her to 15-20 years in prison.

The term is significantly longer than California state guidelines, which call for a maximum penalty of 6 months in prison and a term of $1,000. However, in extraordinary cases with the judge's permission, jurors are allowed to go beyond the recommended penalties.

"When we heard that Britney had a new album coming out in December and that she is planning to start a promotional tour on which she'll bring her kids, we decided it was best for the public good that we put her away for a long, long time," jury foreperson Roberta Lang said in a post-trial press conference. "We were particularly influenced by the expert witness who said it takes at least 15 years for a celebrity to become so forgotten that even TMZ and VH1 will no longer care about them."

Judge Stephen Canter signed off on the extended sentence, saying it preserved the intent of the law if not the letter.

"I have no doubt that the founders of California would want us to do whatever is necessary to keep Defendant Spears away from the press and unable to promote or produce music," he wrote in the penal order sending Brit-Brit to the big house.

Britney shaves again!

Just when you thought Britney Spears days of making impulsive decisions with a razor were over... Oops, she did it again!

Dateline Hollywood has confirmed that Brit, who recently opened up to OK! in her first interview all year, has started shaving herself again. But this time it's not her head. It's her legs!

"She came in and asked what electric razor is best and I thought, 'Here that girl goes again!'" Candy Thompkins, a sales associate at a Rite-Aid in Studio City, said in an interview. "But instead of shaving her head, this time the nutjob said she was going to shave every hair off of her legs!"

Though no witnesses have yet come forward who saw Brit-Brit shaving, Dateline Hollywood did analyze two recent photos (on left) and concluded there's not a single hair on her legs. Time for Papa Spears to start calling the local mental hospitals again?

Madonna having affair with Britney Spears

The media has been all aflutter in the past week over Madonna's alleged affair with A-Rod, but the pop legend's reps have firmly denied any hanky panky with the baseball stud, whose own wife is leaving him. So what's the real scoop?

Dateline Hollywood has learned that while Madonna did briefly fool around with Rodriguez, the real reason she is breaking up with husband Guy Ritchie is a longtime affair with another pop songstress: Britney Spears.

"Ever since Madonna and Brit shared their stage kiss at the MTV Movie Awards, they awakened a deep lust in each other and have been hooking up ever since," said one source close to the soon-to-be-former Mrs. Ritchie. "Guy finally found out and was outraged he never got invited to a 3-sum."

As for A-Rod? Turns out Madonna just used him to make Brit Brit jealous when she threatened to get back together with ex K-Fed. Apparently it worked!

Britney Spears awarded custody of Kobe and Shaq

Britney Spears may have gotten overnight visitation rights for her two sons, but those aren't the only little children she'll be taking care of this summer.

At a closed hearing in Los Angeles family court on Tuesday, the troubled pop singer was awarded temporary custody of Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal, a pair of troubled boys who are very close but have a long history of feuding.

Though Bryant and O'Neal, both professional basketball players, are over 18, psychological experts have determined that they have the maturity of a typical 7 year-old and are thus they are under the supervision of the family court system. In his ruling, Judge Albert Klein said he thought Spears might be capable of helping them learn to behave more respectfully toward each other.

"I thought it would be a good lesson for Ms. Spears to make her a foster mother and, frankly, Kobe and Shaq were the only people we could find who are even less mature than she is," Klein wrote in his ruling. "Getting those two to at least act like Brit-Brit and K-Fed would at least be progress."

Howard K. Stern named to supervise Britney Spears visitations

While everybody's focused on the exciting news that Brit gets to spend three days per week with her kids after yesterday's court ruling yesterday, not many people are talking about a key word in the ruling: "supervised."

That's right, the court is appointing an expert in childcare and legal affairs to oversee Britney's visits with Sean Preston and Jayden James to ensure that she treats them well and follows all the legal rules set down by the judge.

We here at Dateline Hollywood did a little digging and were surprised to find out that the man picked for the job is Howard K. Stern, the controversial attorney and alleged baby's mama from Anna Nicole's brief time in the spotlight. Isn't he a little, ummm, shady? Not according to the court.

"Mr. Stern has extensive experience in the legal rules surrounding child custody and is extremely qualified to recognize when celebrity offspring are being treated poorly," a Los Angeles Family Court spokesperson told Dateline Hollywood. "Besides, it's not like he's going to f*ck up those kids anymore than Britney and K-Fed already have."