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Angelina Jolie, Octomom to star in new reality TV show Bitch Switch

Nadya "Octomom" Sulemon and Angelina Jolie are both about to see their dreams come true, courtesy of ABC.

The network behind "Wife Swap" announced a special edition of the reality that will air during May sweeps called "Bitch Switch." It will see Sulemon moving in with Brad Pitt, his and Jolie's six children, and their 17 nannies. Jolie will move in with Sulemon's parents to take care of her 14 children alone.

"I think it's time for me and Brad to take a little break now that Jennifer is sniffing around again," Jolie said at a press conference announcing the show. "Let's see how Octomom deals with her."

But Sulemon seemed most excited about the changes she could bring to the Jolie-Pitt household. "Six kids in the house is so quiet and unnatural," she told Dateline Hollywood. "I've secretly been taking fertility drugs and I'm hoping Brad will knock me up. If you mix his genes, my genes, and some fertility drugs, we should get at least three or four super hot babies, along with a few not so attractive ones that will feel inferior their whole lives."

Surprisingly, the person who seemed most serene about the reality TV event is Pitt, who will be forced to live with the certifiably insane Sulemon in front of cameras for two weeks. "It's not like I haven't dealt with crazy bitches before," he explained. "When I first hooked up with Angelina she had a bottle of Billy's blood around her neck and one of his socks in her vagina. This one will be a piece of cake."

-Jeffrey Tipton

Jennifer Aniston denies wishing to murder Angelina Jolie

As ex-husband Brad Pitt and rival Angelie Jolie paraded down the red carpet with twins Suspush and Hesapak in hand, Jennifer Aniston denied any wish to murder them or their children, or behave in either an arbitrary or pre-mediateted way against them. 

"I'm not some...I'm not like that 'Fatal Attraction' character," Aniston said, referring to a role played by actress and former "Friends" guest star, Glenn Close.  "Now get away from me.  After taking my picture"

Ms. Aniston has not exhibited violent tendencies in the past, and speculation has not existed to an extent that a restraining order has been pursued, but when pushed, Aniston has admitted to a disinclination towards the couples' "smugness" and evinced a dislike of Pitt's new mustache. 

Celebrity psychologist Houton Wooley describes many celebrities as being more prone to violent outbursts than others, "or at least a tendency to have them caught on film."  He states that Kiefer Sutherland's and Teri Hatcher's violent episodes were pre-dated by similar denials in the press.  "I just hope the public knows what to do to remain safe from Ms. Aniston's possible first or next outburst."

-Dominic Zeller

Angelina nervous as Brad agrees to star in Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2 with Jessica Alba

Sources close to Angelina Jolie tell Dateline Hollywood that she has started to feel a vague sense of anxiety since husband Brad Pitt agreed to star in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2" opposite Jessica Alba.

"I can't quite put my finger on it but something about this situation makes me nervous," Angelina recently told a source in the Jolie-Pitt camp. "It's probably nothing, though. It makes sense for Brad to do 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2' with a different actress so I can stay with the kids. In a few months he'll return home and nothing will have changed."

In "Mr. and Mrs. Smith 2," Pitt's character is alone after his his now ex-wife, who was played by Jolie in the first film and is a professional assassin just like he is, defects to Iran. He's shocked to discover, however, that a new girlfriend he meets on eHarmony played by Alba is also a professional assassin and is trying to take him out at the same time they're falling in love.

Pitt and Alba were both unavailable for comment. A source on the set said both actors "seem to totally disappear" whenever they're not shooting.

Asked if she could provide any perspective during a just released interview in Vogue magazine, Pitt's ex-wife Jennifer Aniston said, "Huh. How interesting."

Exclusive Video: Jennifer Aniston attacks Angelina Jolie

It's the catfight everyone is talking about! After three years of saying very little about the break-up of her marriage to Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston has exploded. She's angry at Angelina Jolie's revelations in a magazine interview about Angelina's affair with Brad. There has been a lot of frustration on Jennifer's part since she lost Pitt to Jolie. Last evening, it all came to a head. Both women were at a Los Angeles Spa when Jennifer suddenly attacked Jolie inside a jacuzzi. Dateline Hollywood has obtained cell phone video of the cat fight. We also have reaction from Brad Pitt following the altercation.

It may look like it's a video of a jello wrestling match from a bar, but we've looked at this video over and over and we have authenticated it. We can say for sure that we're 100 percent positive that this is a video.

The 5 New Angelina Jolie Tattoos

Angelina Jolie showed off her new tattoos over the weekend at the premiere of her new movie "Changeling."  The tattoos appear on her left arm and Dateline Hollywood was able to use digital technology to cleary see her 5 new tattoos. From our analysis, it appears to be a To Do List on her arm and it's a suprising list. We're not sure why she would share this personal information with the world. We're still trying to figure that out. In the meantime, here are her five new tattoos after being digitally enhanced.

1. "Adopt a third world highway"

You can cross that one off the list. Our sources say the paperwork has already been filed for Jolie to adopt a one-lane highway in the African nation of Uganda. It's that kind of generosity that makes Jolie such a beloved figure.

2. "Screw Jennifer Aniston's next boyfriend"

While Angelina is happily married with a continuously growing family, she shows no mercy for Jennifer Aniston. Part of her To Do List is to have sex with the next person Aniston is involved with. Rumors say she has gotten to all of Aniston's boyfriends who all end up leaving Aniston. The latest casualty was singer John Mayer.

Celebrity stock porftolios plunge 35% due to financial crisis

With financial institutions continuing to fail on Wall Street, Hollywood has experienced what one economist called "The worst crisis ever for celebrity wealth."

According to statistics obtained exclusively by Dateline Hollywood, the average A-list celebrity stock portfolio has fallen 35% this week, with some stars losing as much as 72% of their wealth.

Amongst stars who have lost huge amounts of money:

-Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt saw their portfolio decline by 26%. Sources say that will force them to return at least one adopted child to its birth parents

-Kevin Federine's stocks plunged by 54%, bringing his total net worth down to $43.70

-Ashton Kutcher's investments plummeted by a whopping 72%, though financial experts cautioned that most of the drop was unrelated to the Wall Street crisis and had to do with his decision to put all his money in a company that specializes in magic beans.

"This is the most devastating news yet for the American economy," said Navid Pring, chief celebrity economist at Goldman Sachs. "If celebrities aren't buying new products, entire shopping guides in Us Weekly and on The Oprah Winfrey Show could be cancelled. E!'s fashion experts will have no new celebrity clothing to mock. We'll be feeling the impact of this crisis for at least a year."

Jolie's post-babies body not good enough for Lara Croft role

New photos of Angelina Jolie show just how she has let herself go after recently giving birth to twins. That's why producers have rejected her for reprising the role of Lara Croft on the big screen. Instead, they have hired a British gymnast named Alison Carroll. 

"Take one look at Angelina and you see can she no longer has the body she once did," a producer told us. "She's gone from being this sex goddess to this suburban Mom. All she's missing is the short haircut and those Mom jeans as she's developed a FUPA (fat upper p*ssy area). It's really sad to witness what has happened to her, all in the name of children."

Brangelina twins sold into slavery at People Magazine for $14 million

Lawyers for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt said they were reviewing legal options on Sunday after the celebrity couple accidentally signed a contract selling ownership of their twin babies to People Magazine for $14 million.

"My clients intended to sell rights for the first photographs of Knox and Vivenne to People Magazine for $14 million, with Hello! Magazine getting international rights for an extra $5 million," said attorney Bert Fields. "But they didn't notice that the contract technically said they were selling the twins into paparazzi slavery, with People getting legal custody of them both."

According to the terms of the contract, People will have full parental rights over Knox and Vivienne Pitt, with the ability to exclusively photograph, interview, and stage news events such as romantic entanglements and weight loss/gains until they turn 18.  Hello Magazine will have visitation rights every other weekend along with the ability to exclusively cover the infant starlets in Europe and Asia.

According to human trafficking experts, $14 million is the most ever paid for a single individual.

Jolie sues Warner Bros. for taking attention away from twins with 'Dark Knight'

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt took their newborn twins home from hospital in France over the weekend, but the news didn't make headlines around the world. Now Jolie's lawyers say the actress is suing Warner Bros. for releasing the new Batman movie, "The Dark Knight," over the weekend, thereby taking away the media attention away from the twins release from the hospital. Attorney Linda Kashyr says:

"What people have to understand is that a lot of money was spent and a lot of planning went into these births in France. Everything has been carefully orchestrated for maximum exposure. For Warner Bros. to release "The Dark Knight" this weekend is completely irresponsible. People all of sudden were without any Jolie twins coverage while 'Batman' was making all sorts of news. It's a malicious, deliberate act on the part of Warner Bros. and they will suffer the financial consequences."

In order to recapture some of the lost media attention, sources say Jolie and Pitt are considering taking the newborn twins to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles to receive an accidental overdose of heparin.

Entertainment Tonight refuses to report birth of Jolie twins

Entertainment Tonight got it completely wrong last month when it reported that Angelina Jolie had given birth to twins. It was an embarrassing mistake as it tried to be the first to report on the twins. Now that Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline have been born, and a French newspaper Nice-Matin got the massive scoop, ET is still not reporting on the twins birth. An ET producer says, "We're not falling for this again.  No way. We don't think those babies have popped out yet. Come on, this news came from a French newspaper. Really? Are we going to start believing the French now?"  Tonight's ET features a long retraction for their "world exclusive" report on how Madonna was having an affair with Howie Mandel and not baseball player Alex Rodriguez.