Valkryie, Cruise sweep the Scientologies

In an unprecedented sweep that justified the huge financial and artistic risk that Tom Cruise took on the film, "Valkryie" swept the Scientologies on Sunday, taking home prizes for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, and Best OT VIII Portrayal.

Last night's ceremony marked the first time that the Scientologies, awards that recognize excellence, creative risk taking, and use of thetans in motion pictures, were held. The Scientologies were created the day after the nominations for the Academy Awards were announced and "Valkryie," the $90 million Nazi thriller starring Cruise released by his studio United Artists, was shockingly excluded.

"It's a good thing that the Scientologies happened to be announced the next day, with multiple nominations for 'Valkryie' in every category, or Tom Cruise might have gotten the foolish idea that he hasn't created the greatest film in human history. Or at least since 'Battlefield Earth,'" said Evan Paxson, producer of the awards who also serves as executive director of the Scientology Celebrity Center.

Cruise won the Best Actor prize against fellow "Valkryie" stars Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson and Terence Stamp. He also accepted the film's Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay and Best Costume awards on behalf of recipients who didn't attend.

In other awards news, several films that were not "Valkryie" took home prizes at the Oscars on Sunday.

Comments

[Florida Blund]

Tom's acceptance speech?

"I would like to thank Xenu and all my body thetans for cooperating and allowing me to do this film. Thanks to David Miscavige for stroking my ego to the point where I actually thought I can do a German movie without bothering to do a German accent.

I thank Katie for being the door matt that she is.....and my son Connor for understanding that Daddy's film is WAY more important to promote than for me to show up at your first starring role...
and thanks also to Mommy for understanding that her play AND her 30th birthday also played second fiddle to my film.
And Suri..thanks for being too young to understand just how screwed up your life is about to come"

[KeeKee]

LOL'd - good article. Loved how Fey/Martin dissed the cult of scientology and that cruise was not invited to present this year at the oscars.
The entertainment industry gets behind a lot of good causes and social change and its about time they gave Tom, John, Kirstie, and other scientolgists in the entertainment industry the cold shoulder - they are in a cult that perpetrates human rights abuses daily and in your own backyard - clean it up people.

[fitch20]

Hahahah, you guys are so goina get stalked, harassed, and sued.

I'll throw a benjamin your way to help with legal fees lol.

Article was excellent.

[PalOMine]

Friggin hilarious dude! When the Brang/TomKat kids grow up they can continue the HW/CoS cult-within-a-cult tradition. Starting with erratically scheduled home schooling, or if you prefer rigorously enforced thought-stopping rituals, as rudimentary learning tools. And NO attention to healthy dietary habits whatsoever. Make certain the child never stays in one place more than a few months at a clip or bonds with anyone outside the cult..um, I mean family, and you have a winner.

[Peach]

I can't believe they didn't nominate him for his outstanding "walk-on" performance in Tropic Thunder.

[Enid]

We liked that film that had Tom Cruise in it and he was a member of the International Monetary Fund. But we were a bit surprised that he was interested in rabbit's feet. Maybe it was because they are lucky. Isn't it funny that ripoff guy's name was Madoff. He made off with all that money.