CARSON DALY BECOMES PITCHMAN FOR MASSENGILL DOUCHE

One week after crossing the Writers Guild picket lines to resume production on his show “Last Call,” Carson Daly has been hired as the national spokesman for Massengill Douche. “We needed someone who embodied our quality douche products and Carson Daly is the right person for the job,” said Massengill marketing VP Jake Tatem.

The new opportunity for Daly couldn’t have come at a better time as he’s been receiving negativity publicity and feeling the heat from the Writers Guild of America for resuming his late-night show. He returned to production last week to tape new shows, which will begin airing this week.

“This is a wonderful product, and I’m proud to be associated with Massengill,” said Daly. “I hope that when people think of douches, they think of me.”

Commercials for Massengill featuring Daly, which have already been filmed, will begin airing next month.

“Do you ever get that no so fresh feeling?” asks Carson Daly in one of the commercials. “Hi, I’m Carson Daly, and I’d like to talk to you about douches. It’s something I’m very familiar with, and I’d like to introduce the new Massengill Disposable Douche with Extra Mild Vinegar and Water. It’s fantastic and now available at your local pharmacy and 99 Cent stores.”

Daly hopes his new role as the pitchman for Massengill Douche will take the media focus away from his decision to cross the picket lines at NBC. Other talk shows, including “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,” “Late Night with David Letterman” and “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” have remained idle since the strike began, and their respective networks have been airing re-runs. To make matters worse, Daly sent an e-mail to friends and family asking them to call into a “joke hotline” to record suggested material for him to play on the air while his writers are picketing.

“Once that e-mail leaked out, we had to shut down our hotline,” said Daly. “I guess people must have known that I was in negotiations with Massengill because there was a ton of references to the word ‘douche’ on the hotline. I actually felt relieved knowing that people are already associating me with those fine douche products.”

Massengill is thrilled to have Daly as its pitchman for the company and plans to introduce a new line of products called “Daly Douche” featuring Carson Daly’s face on the box.

“When they see Carson’s face on the box they’ll remember to douche daily with ‘Daly Douche,’” said a publicist for Massengill.